Retail

USA

(I’m on the service desk one day when I notice our loss prevention guy detaining an elderly woman and leading her upstairs with the manager. This is a fairly common occurrence, but what was less common was the three cops that showed up a few minutes later.)

Me: Why did they need three cops to handle one old lady?

Manager: Because she had every pocket and all her underwear stuffed with marijuana.

Me: Well, d***.

(Apparently she was very proud of her potheadedness and claimed to have used marijuana to save her ailing mother’s life.)

Pet Grooming

USA

(An elderly woman and her daughter come in to drop of their cat for grooming. I don’t groom cats, but I strike up a conversation with them, and explain our services.)

Customer: Well, that all sounds great! How long does it usually take?

Me: About an hour, hour and a half. We only do hand drying here so it doesn’t take that long.

Customer: That should be enough time for us to go get breakfast. Do you know of any good places around here?

(I recommend a restaurant not too far down the road, and she leaves her cat and they go off to eat. The manager comes in and grooms the cat. When the customer comes back she is very happy.)

Customer: Oh, she looks beautiful! Thank you both so much! And you-that restaurant was wonderful, thank you for the recommendation!

Me: You’re welcome!

(She ended up leaving a tip for both myself and the manager. I got a ten dollar tip, just for being nice!)

Retail

USA

[I am a cashier working in a very popular retail store in the U.S. It is Approximately 1 hour before closing]

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You just sold me this iPad case, and we took it out to the car to put it on, and we noticed that it’s cracked.”

[The woman pulls the iPad case out of the bag to show me the crack. From what I can see, there is a very small crack in the corner, but it is large enough to get worse later on]

Me: “Oh, okay. So did you want to return that?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, if you just head over to Customer Service, they can help you out with that.”

Customer: “You can’t process it here?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t. I don’t even have a return function on my machine, so I’m not even able to return it here.”

Customer: [Getting slightly irritated] “Can’t you just grab another one from the floor and swap it out for me?”

Me: “No, Ma’am, I can’t just swap it out. This product is damaged, and even though it’s not your fault that it’s damaged, our store has to process it back into the system and report it as being an open and damaged product so that they can mark it down to a lower price before they restock it.”

Customer: “So I have to go stand in line at Customer Service?”

Me: [Looking over at Customer Service] “Well, it looks like there’s no one in line right now, so if you head over there, they should be able to help you right away.”

Customer: “Fine!” [Walks off in a huff towards the Customer Service desk]

[I begin counting the beverages in our drink coolers so that I know how many I need to restock at the end of the night. A few minutes later, the customer walks back over to me.]

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that employee’s name?”

Me: “The one over at Customer Service?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Her name is [name]”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. I’m going to report her for bad customer service.”

Me: [Knowing that said coworker had told the lady the same thing I had told her and had simply given her a refund for the product] “Um…okay.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! She wouldn’t even let me swap it out! I had to return the entire item! I’m going to report her!”

Me: “Okay…”

[The customer walked off in a huff. Needless to say, nothing ever came of this. No report was filed against my coworker, since she had just been doing her job in the first place. And the customer, as far as I know, never came back.]

Retail

USA

Me: “Hello, how are you today.”

Customer: “Fine, thanks!”

Me: “Good.”

[The debit/credit card machine CLEARLY states, in BIG letters, ‘Please wait for total from cashier.’]

Customer: [Begins swiping her card numerous times. I ignore her, thinking she’ll eventually take the hint. However, about the third time, she speaks up] “Why isn’t it working?”

Me: “Well, you have to wait for me to hit the total button.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Me: “Well, the machine actually says, ‘Please wait for total from cashier.’”

Customer: [A little embarrassed and irritated] “Oh. You must have been waiting all day to say that to someone.”

Me: “Actually, no. I get that a lot, so I’m pretty used to it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Well you have a good day.” [Takes her paid for products and then leaves quickly]