Supermarket

QLD, Australia

(The supermarket I work in has recently had a fire in the roof which has left us to power the store using only the backup generator. The technicians are currently trying to fix the problem when one of them cuts all power to the tills. As a result not only can we not scan ANYTHING but since it’s all electronic we cannot process ANY payment as the drawers will not open. Many people are waiting patiently for it to be fixed while others have decided to leave their groceries and either come back later or go to another store. We have someone standing at the entrance advising customers of the problem as they come in.We are also handing out cups of water and cookies and cake to those who have chose to wait while others are returning cold products to the fridge and freezers. A woman in her late 20’s comes to the front with a product and proceeds to barge past the 80 or so other customers who are waiting with their trollies including an elderly man who is sitting on a chair at the end of my counter as he was getting a little dizzy.)

Lady: What the Hell? why is everyone just standing around?

Coworker: Sorry miss all our registers are currently down and we can’t scan anything.

Lady: Oh well I only want this 1 thing can you just put it through for me?

Coworker: No sorry we have no way of scanning it and as all the registers need power we can’t even process a payment….

Lady: But I’ve only got 1 thing and I’m paying by card.

Coworker: Like I said the power is out we can’t scan anything let alone process a payment. You’re more than welcome to leave it here and come back in about half an hour when everything should be back up or there are other stores in the mall that sell the same product.

Lady: I don’t have time for this I’m in a massive hurry I just need this 1 thing why won’t you help me? You’re all just lazy I’m going to (Competitor down the mall). She throws her item at my co-worker and storms out muttering about bad service and only having 1 thing.

Elderly man: (To me and my co-worker)

Is she serious what doesn’t she understand about you have no power? I may not understand technology but I know all this stuff runs on electricity.

Me: I really don’t know how else he could have told her.

5 minutes later the power is back up the elderly man was out about 1 minute later but came back to tell me the young lady was still standing in line at (competitor) ranting about how incompetent we were.

Camp

San Diego, CA

(I work for a kids camp at a college. We are the typical rich kids camp, so we get a lot of stress from parents throughout the whole summer. But some parents just leave us with gem like stories)

Me: Okay. Does your child have any allergies that we should be aware of?

Mom: Nope! Our little boy is like Superman! Nothing can hurt him!

Dad: *Stays quiet*

Me: Alright then! I got everything I need. I think you are good to go! Have a nice day.

Mom: Thanks! *Phone rings* Oh. Ill meet you guys outside. I have to take this. *runs outside*

Dad: *To me* Umm. Can you actually wait a second?

Me: Yes?

Dad: My son is actually allergic to bee stings.

Me: Wait, seriously? How come she said he was “Superman”?

Son: She thinks its a “flaw” and is embarrassed about it.

Me: Oh…. Well. No worries man. I wont tell anyone, but make sure you have your medicine with you.

Dad and Son: Thanks! *Leaves*

Coworker: Wait… if she doesn’t like to admit he has an allergy, then how did they get medicine?

Me: Im either gonna say in secret or the black market.

Call Center

UT, USA

(At this time, I worked for a call center which sold various navigation products for vehicles. While they usually worked well, there was the occasional defect, and the company unfortunately had a terrible return policy.)

Me: “Thank you for calling about your [omitted] map! My name is [omitted], how can I help you?”

Mr. Wright: “My name is Wright, and if you really want to help me, I’m going to need some information from you.”

Me: “Not a problem. What can I help you with?”

Mr. Wright: “Oh, excellent. Well, you see…”

(The customer goes on for a while detailing his situation about how he ordered the product, how long it took to get there, and all of the problems he’s had with it since. The entire time, I’m doing my very best not to think of Ace Attorney.)

Mr. Wright: “…after everything I’ve witnessed from your company, I think it’s time I return this for a refund. I’m not satisfied, I hope you understand.”

Me: “Not a problem, I can arrange that for you.”

(I gave him the address to send it back to, and let him know that he’d get a refund as soon as the product was returned.)

Mr. Wright: “Does this refund shipping as well? You are aware I had to pay shipping to get the product here, and I’d have to pay shipping to send it back, correct?”

Me: “At this time, our return policy does not cover shipping costs.”

Mr. Wright: “Objection!”

(The customer’s shout wasn’t exactly startling, as I’ve heard worse in the past, but it was surprising that of all the things he could have said at that point, he chose that word.)

Me: “Yes, Mr. Wright?”

Mr. Wright: “Considering that I paid for the shipping to bring the product here, and it was faulty, shouldn’t your company be the one to pay for its return trip? Otherwise, your customers lose money every time they need to return something; isn’t that unfair? Don’t they test these products to make sure they’re not broken before they send them out? I’d like to log a complaint about this.”

Me: “Yes, we do run tests to ensure the devices are working properly, and I do apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you. I completely understand your situation with the shipping, and I’ll escalate a case to see if there’s anything we can do for you today.”

Mr. Wright: “Thank you. I understand I’m not always right, but I’m confident I’m not wrong this time. It’s too bad they don’t have a test for common sense, am I right?”

Me: “Yes, Sir. For the complaint you wanted to submit, we have you down here as Mr. Wright. Is that right?”

Mr. Wright: “You’re quite right. Thank you very much, and you have a great day.”

(With that, the customer hung up, and I logged yet another complaint about the company return policies. The customer was given a refund for the product as well as the cost to send the product back, but the initial shipping charge was not refunded, sadly.)

Girls’ Retail

llinois, USA

I’m managing a chain retail store. Our location has been doing poorly for years, since the company built a larger, better stocked location in a popular shopping center less than five minutes down the road. The lease has run out on my small location, and the company decides to shut it down. There are big red signs EVERYWHERE stating “Store Closing! This Store Only!”

A woman walks in with a pair of flip flops and some sunglasses. “I’d like to return these. They’re the wrong size for my daughter.”

Me: “Well, since we’re closing, we can’t accept returns. But our sister store in (shopping center) is staying open, and they can definitely handle a return or exchange for you!”

Woman: “WHAT! That is ridiculous! What am I supposed to do? These DON’T FIT. I need to exchange them. Why won’t you take them? This is horrible customer service!”

Me: “I can’t take any returns at THIS location ma’am, because we’re closing. We don’t even have those items in our store anymore, they were all sent to (shopping center). So, if you take the flip flops down there, they will exchange them for you. Just turn left out of the lot here, go straight down (major road both stores are located on) and it’s less than five minutes away.”

Woman: “You companies are all the same, just trying to screw us over! I bought them HERE. They don’t fit! I can’t do anything with shoes that don’t fit!”

She storms away and browses the little merchandise we have left. I leave her alone for a few minutes, then go back over to her.

Me: “Ma’am, are you finding anything you like? You know, you CAN still exchange or return your items. There’s still a (chain store) in (shopping center) right down the street.”

Woman: “Oh, I can return them at (shopping center)? Even though I bought them here? Oh! Well then! That’s not too bad! Thanks for telling me!”