Internet technical support desk

Texas

(I work phone technical support for an internet provider. When you call tech support and you’re talking to a tech support agent over the phone, who is *not* visually seeing what you are seeing, don’t do this…)

Internet customer over the phone:  “Ok, now I’m seeing a little exclamation point inside a yellow triangle”.

Me: “Ok maam, where are you seeing that?”

Customer: “On my computer!”

Me: *facepalm* 

Grocery store

QC, Canada

(My assistant manager is known to buy stickers and leave them at the tills for us cashiers to give to children. A little girl no taller than the counter comes to my counter.)

Girl : “Good morning, my name is [name], I’m four years old, and I want a sticker”

Assistant manager : “Just for this, you are getting two”

*She gives the stickers to the child, who then thanks us and leaves*

Me : “She…she was so cute…”

Library

Seattle, WA

I am using a computer in a public library. Another patron, roughly 50 ft. away from me is leaving the building. I am paying no attention to her and am silent, as I’m using the computer. The room is also pretty quiet, until:

Patron, speaking loudly and angrily: I’m going to smash some TEENAGERS on the floor here!!

I look up to see if some kids are causing a problem, or if she is harassing kids without cause.  There are no kids around her, or anywhere else in the room. As I try to figure out who she’s talking about, she catches my eye, glares at me, points at me threateningly, then walks out of the library.  I am 29.

Movies

Jefferson City

(I work at a movie theater in a small city, and because its a small town you don’t see as many crazy people as you think you would. It was a long day, and a new movie just came out, so we where very busy, and I’m trying to be patient with the not so patient types. Business is finally slowing down because the movies are just about to start, when an older woman comes up to the usher post.)

Me- Ticket please ma’am?

Customer- Ya ok!

Me- (checks tickets, and clearly speaking) your movie is to my far right, your far left, theater three, under the orange sign

Customer- I’m waiting on my husband, hold his ticket

Me- I’m sorry Ma’am I can’t hold someone else’s ticket

Customer- Whatever! (go grabs her husband) Here he is, now where is MY movie?

Me- to my far right, theater three, under the orange sign, and your seeing [movie]?

Customer- No I thought I would go see [other movie], of course I’m here to see [movie]! (obviously never bothered to speak under her breath) dumb f*** (begins to help customers directly behind her as she walks off. now our theaters go in a C starting from one to eight, and on the way to her theater there is theater five, and four, and finally her movie, three. it just so happened that the people behind her are seeing the same movie, and as I start to help them out, I hear shouting coming from down the hall.) (still the same woman)Customer- I can’t find my movie!

(I ask my coworker to help the people who are at the post while I go deal with the woman)

Me- you can’t find your movie?

Customer- No s*** dumb f***

(still being patient)Me- its that theater right there. (points to theater three directly)

Customer- that one? (pointing to theater four)

Me- No Ma’am, that theater right there, number 3, (list off movie name) Customer-which one? this one or that one?

Me- that one Ma’am (still pointing to theater 3)

Customer- but I’m seeing [movie] that one is different

Me- that’s the same movie Ma’am, we’re just showing that movie in more than one theater, so we add the letters to the end of it so we employees and customers can tell the difference.

Customer- So it’s [movie]?

Me- yes Ma’am

(the customer begins to walk off again, and tries to enter theater 4)

Me- Ma’am! that’s not the theater you want. (walks down to the theater because I needed to go do my job) This one right here Ma’am (I’m standing there for 2 seconds when the theater doors open to reveal… her husband) Customer’s Husband- over here honey, I saved you a seat.

(feeling like I can assume the woman can find her way to the theater, I begin to walk off, but then I hear this…)

Husband- so did you have fun?

Customer- Ya, this is more fun than watching the stupid credits, but that guy was a F****** moron!…. are you sure this is the right theater?

Bank

UK

Caller is an 80 yr old lady calling about her statement

Caller - I have received page 2 but, not page one and I need you to send me out another one. If you have sent it out to anyone else im going to get the ombudsman on you.

Me - Ok, well just before I order you a new one, can I ask you to do something silly for me please?

Caller - Ok?

Me - Can you turn it over for me?

Caller - Ooooh, your going to have a laugh about this after arnt you?

Me - Not at all, happens to all of us