sandwich shop


Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I wanted to place a catering order for 12 sandwiches. Now, the sandwiches are cut in half right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, so, like… if I get two sandwiches, there will be four?”

Me: “…Each sandwich is cut in half, yes.”

Customer: “So if I get two sandwiches it would be four halves?”

Me: “…If you get 12 sandwiches, there will be 24 halves, yes, they are cut in half.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, great!”

(I drag his order out of him and get his name. I recognize his name as a customer that orders almost once a week!)


Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Them: Can you help me find a book?

Me: Sure. Do you have the title?

Them: Yeah, it’s….ummm, actually, I forget (blank stare)

Me: Do you know the author?

Them: Nope (blank stare)

Me: Do you know anything else about the book?

Them: Not really. Maybe I should go look it up myself.


Grocery Store

Haliburton, Ontario

(I am working the customer service area of a large grocery store, you know the small booth that sells the smokes and the lotto tickets. A customer walks up and I start to check him out.)

Customer: You aren’t charging me for the bag.

Me: Yeah, I am.

Customer: No seriously, you aren’t charging me for a bag.

(It’s a 5 cent charge that some places in Ontario have banned and some still use)

Customer: It’s a scam you know, the price is built into the cost of the grocery’s. So you are scamming us.

(I smile and now while he’s going on about this)

Customer: So, like I said, it’s a scam. You are scamming me.

Me: I just do as I’m told sir.

Customer: That’s what the Nazi’s said. 

(I stood there flabbergasted for a moment, but later had a few laughs with my co-workers about being called a Nazi. Wage-slave might have been a better term. My wife was right POed when I got home and told her about it.) 

Gas Station Convenience store

Indiana, USA

This has happened more times than I can count.

Me: “How can I help you, today?”

Customer: “Fine, thanks.”