Public Pool

California

I work as a Head Lifeguard at a city pool.  A large man, about 6 feet tall, 180 pounds, has his 4 year old daughter on his back and they are going back and forth in the shallow end of the pool.  His wife is sitting on the side with her feet in the pool, watching.  Suddenly he says “Watch this!” and tells his daughter to hold her breath.  He falls over backwards, literally laying on top of his daughter, his body holding her under water.

Me:  (running over to the man) Sir!  You need to get up NOW!

Man:  (comes up from under the water) What’s the problem?

Me:  Sir, you cannot lay on top of your daughter while she is under water.  It’s not safe!  What if she needed to get a breath?

Man:  It was only for a few seconds - she’s fine.  She’s a trooper!  (the girl is coughing - she obviously swallowed some water).

Me:  Sir, you cannot do that again in this pool.  You would not lay down on top of your daughter on the living room floor would you?

Man:  (looking bewildered)  Well, no, of course not.

I look at his wife, and she is rolling her eyes.  The man goes off swimming with his daughter.

Wife:  He does stuff like this all the time.  Sometimes he’s such a meatloaf!

I walked away but kept an eye on him the rest of the afternoon.  He behaved!

Used Cell Phone Store

Mobile, AL, USA

(A customer comes into the store, and their phone isn’t charging. I test it and find out that the charger is broken, so I get her another one.)

Me: Here you go. Turns out the charger we gave you was defective.

Customer: Oh, it was? Do they have a warranty on them?

Me: Yes ma’am, that’s why we’re giving you a new one.

Customer: Oh, okay.

(She then proceeds to plug the charger into the phone, without plugging it into a wall outlet.)

Customer: Uh, I think this one is broken too. Shouldn’t the bars be coming on the screen?

(When you plug the phone into a wall outlet, three bars light up along the battery to indicate it’s charging. Since she doesn’t have the phone plugged in, they obviously aren’t going to do that.)

Me: You’ll have to plug it into the wall for it to actually charge.

(The customer grabs the charger and leaves without another word.)

Used Cell Phone Store

Mobile, AL, USA

(A customer comes into the store, and their phone isn’t charging. I test it and find out that the charger is broken, so I get her another one.)

Me: Here you go. Turns out the charger we gave you was defective.

Customer: Oh, it was? Do they have a warranty on them?

Me: Yes ma’am, that’s why we’re giving you a new one.

Customer: Oh, okay.

(She then proceeds to plug the charger into the phone, without plugging it into a wall outlet.)

Customer: Uh, I think this one is broken too. Shouldn’t the bars be coming on the screen?

(When you plug the phone into a wall outlet, three bars light up along the battery to indicate it’s charging. Since she doesn’t have the phone plugged in, they obviously aren’t going to do that.)

Me: You’ll have to plug it into the wall for it to actually charge.

(The customer grabs the charger and leaves without another word.)

Convience Store

Oklahoma

So this trucker came in with a Fuelman card and was a real creeper. I was running his card. Note: I’m a female with an odd hair cut.

Trucker: What kind of hair cut is that?

Me: *smart-ass as I am…* Mine

Coworker: *turns away to hide her laughing*

We were joking about it the rest of the night. When my boss came in I told her I was a smart-ass to a customer and she just rolled her eyes.

Hospital

Switzerland

(Note: Before I started studying medicine, I worked as some sort of nursing assistant for half a year. Basically I helped people eat, cleaned their bedpans and did all the nasty stuff, so the nurses could focus on important things. I was 20 years old. The patient had been in this hospital several times and nobody liked her. In fact, ti was always a fight which floor would have to take her.)

Patient: “Put my socks on!”

I get her socks, kneel down and put the first on.

Patient: “NO! You’re doing it all wrond! You need to pull from the heel!”

I proceed.

Patient: “NO! Are you retarded? I said pull from the HEEL!”

I really don’t know what she wants from me, so I just go on and pull the sock up.

"Patient, screaming: "NO! You stupid little bitch!" then she slaps me in the face.

 It doesn’t really hurt, but I’m totally shocked. I don’t know what to do, so I just say nothing and walk out of her room. I hide in a utility room and try to get it together. I’m really angry and shocked and suddenly my nose starts to bleed.

When I enter the nurses’ room, they all ask me what happened - obviously, the patient has told them her own side of the story. When they see me, nose bleeding, tears in my eyes, they laugh, get me a glass of water, and promise I won’t have to deal with her again. So for the rest of the patient’s stay, whenever she needed something, the nurses would attend to it. I was totally relieved :)