Convenience Store

Woodbridge, VA, USA

Many, many years ago when I was underage I, like many of my peers, had a fake ID for buying beer.  Usually it would work in mom & pop stores, but not always.  One night I was trying to buy beer for a party.

Clerk: Just this case?  I’m gonna need to see some ID.

Me: Here you go.

I hand the clerk my ID.  After looking at it for two seconds.

Clerk: I’m sorry”, but we don’t accept fake, I mean, “out of state licenses.

Me: …S**t…

Clerk: (handing it back) Yeah, better luck next time.

Convenience Store


I always go to this one convenience store in town because they always have some great sale on 2 liter cokes and the cashiers are always extremely nice. With a line of about 4 people in front of me these two women are told by the cashier that they could buy another bag of pork rinds like they had for $1 more.  So one girl goes and gets another bag but not the same kind. Cashier says it has to be the same type.  So the dumb b***h leaves the wrong bag on the candy rack to go get the right kind.


Denver, CO

(I’m waiting tables in the cocktail area of a chain restaurant. This area is first-come first-serve even with the 1 hour wait currently at the door for the main dining room. I walk up and greet a couple that just sat at a table. I had seen them occasionally before.)

Man: “We’re in a hurry.”

Me: “Okay, well, since we are busy you will want to order something fast like (rattles off the fastest items to make).”

Man: “What do you mean you’re busy?”

Me: “Well, you just walked by the hour wait at the door, right?”

Man: “Whatever, maybe if you hired some real cooks instead of those w******s you have in the kitchen, you could handle it.”

(My jaw drops and I just stare for a beat. I turn around and walk away shaking mad, as I’m close with my cooks and know how much harder they work than most of the people I have ever known. I walk up to my General Manager who knows I pride myself on handling any situation.)

Me: I won’t wait on that table. I mean it, I won’t wait on them. I’ll be out back.

(Walks out to compose myself. I come back a minute later and the bartender is waiting on them. I ignore them and continue taking care of the rest of my customers. Just before they leave, I decide I can’t keep my mouth shut.)

Me: (coming close and speaking low) “That was pretty brave, I made sure those w******s knew that that was your food.”

(This is a lie, but was willing to risk them telling the story to try and get me in trouble and to see the color drain from his face. His wife never said a word through the whole thing. On the plus side, I never saw them again.)

Grocery store


(I am the customer in this story. Money has been extremely tight for the past few weeks as I work an underpaid job and my husband has not started his new job yet. We have just finished grocery shopping with money my parents kindly sent me, and have food for at least the next three weeks to tide us over, so I’m extremely excited.)

Me: (as we push our cart out the first set of doors into the vestibule)”Yay, we have food! Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard!” *keeps singing the song from the musical Oliver, while jumping around*

(I have not seen a grocery store employee sitting on the bench in the vestibule, texting on his phone. When I turn and do see him, I immediately stop and glare at my husband, who DID know the employee was there.)

Me: “You didn’t see ANYTHING, mate.”

Employee: *continues the next line of the song* “While we’re in the mood, cold jelly and custard!” *grins*