Fast Food Restaurant

Melbourne, Australia

(Working on drive thru)

Me: Welcome to (Fast Food Restaurant) what can I get for you today?

Customer: Can I get a burger combo?

Me: Sure, was that regular or large today?

Customer: Large thanks

Me: And what drink today?

Customer: I SAID LARGE!

Jewellery store

Western Australia

A customer wants to enlarge a ring that she is purchasing. Our sizes are alphabetized, the smallest being “a” and the largest “z”. This occurred while writing up the customer’s repair docket.

Customer: “Okay, i will need this ring enlarged by two sizes”

Me: “That’s just fine. You are aware there is an additional cost for sizing?”

I continue on to explain the sizing process and what our particular jeweller does in order to size.

Customer: “yes that’s okay,i just need it made two sizes bigger.”

Me: “Alright, well it might be a better idea to give her the ring and then come back to us for sizing, so we know the exact amount of sizes you need to go up. We have a lot of customers coming back to us because they chose the ring size wrong, and then they have to pay again for the correction.”

Customer:” No I’m sure that this will be fine, so just go ahead.”

I then go on to write up the docket, stressing on the form that she was insisting on the ring being sized without measuring the recipient’s finger.

Me: “so that was two sizes then? from “O” up to “Q”?

Customer: Rolling her eyes           “No , i need it to be two sizes, not one… TWO!”

Me: not really knowing what to say without making her seem stupid, and having to explain to an adult woman how the alphabet works…              “umm, I’m sorry but that is two sizes… O,P,Q.”

Customer:thinks for a minute       “oh… i guess that’s okay then… O,P,…Q”

We finish up and she leaves the store. I just hope I’m not working when she comes back claiming that i sized it wrong… 


Queensland, Australia

(I started working in retail when I was 25.  I’ve always looked younger than I am, but after about a year of working in the store, I had a conversation with a customer I doubt I’ll ever forget.)

*at the end of the transaction*

Customer: You should quit and go back to school.

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: You should quit this useless job and go back to school so you can do something with your life.

Me: Ma’am, I’ve already graduated from high school.

Customer: Don’t lie to me, you need to go back and finish so you can do something useful instead of this.

Me: Ma’am, I’m 26. I’ve graduated from high school. I’ve done a year and a half at university. I worked in child care for six and a half years.  I switched to retail for something different.

Customer: There’s no way you’re 26, go back to school and stop making up stories.

Me: (I happened to have my licence in my pocket that day, so I took it out and showed her my date of birth.) Ma’am, as you can see, I’m 26, nearly 27. I graduated from high school a decade ago this November.

Customer: I still don’t believe you.

Me: You don’t have to.  Have a nice day.


Auckland, New Zealand

(I am the customer in this scenario)

I have just walked up with my boyfriend to the doorman of the bar where my friend’s band is playing.

Me: Two adults please?

Doorman: Uhhhh…

Me: I’m not on the bus am I?

My Boyfriend: No dear, you’re really not.

Me: I swear I’m sober!